Survival Guide for Women after Divorce

Special in the sense that not only your physical intimacy empowers you with a number of abilities and talents that are unique to women only, but if considered with a bit of realistic pessimism, you may have to face many difficulties, that are to a great extent the outcome of a male dominated social setup that is still the bane of our civilization. Hence, if approached with a right attitude, the post divorce adjustment efforts will not only arm you with a sense of confidence, but will endow you with the survival skills that will ensure your long tem welfare.

Emotional Healing

The first few months of the year after a divorce are undeniably fraught with emotional pain and psychological trauma. To ensure a successful recovery may demand a lot of personal initiative and a will to pull oneself out of the ensuing sense of inertia. With women, the most difficult task is to get rid of the emotional, social and financial dependencies on one's partner, which are inadvertently encouraged and reinforced by our culture during the course of a marriage. Marriages marred by abuse are more prone to such handicaps and may require relevant counseling and professional help. Assistance provided by many emotional and social support groups may prove vital in restoring one's faith in oneself and can considerably speedup the healing process.

Children

Considering the unequalled contribution of women as primary caregivers in the traditional social setup, most of the times courts tend to confer child custody in favour of women. This is not only a special prerogative, but an onerous responsibility. Children are not only a tremendous source of love and warmth, but also a delicate obligation for a custodial parent. Being a single parent may require a lot of balancing and innovation on your part. Help from the extended family and friends can make a crucial difference. Their exist a number of government and voluntary organizations that not only provide the much needed psychological support for the children of divorce, but also have a provision for extending a short term financial help to the women happening to be single mothers.

Career

If you are a working single mother, you are certainly placed in a demanding situation. Besides the post divorce stress may have a short term negative impact on your efficiency at work. Immediately after your divorce, the best thing to do will be to arrange for a closed door, one to one meeting with your immediate superior. Intimate him/her regarding your special circumstances and also ensure him/her that you will soon try to recover from them. This will not only help your employers sympathize with and understand your deficiencies for the time, but the chances are that they may prove to be a potent source of advice and help regarding your rehabilitation and readjustment.

Many a times, women are not aware that most of the well established organizations have help wings that extend advice and financial packages to employees facing problems after a divorce. Some workplaces have attached childcare facilities for their staff. Your professional survival to a great extent will depend on your ability to locate and exploit all the possible sources of help and assistance.

Finances

After your career, finances happen to be the second major factor that will determine your survival after divorce. Divorce may give you access to funds such as child support and alimony and may lead to unforeseen expenses like childcare. You may have to relocate to a new place or may have to dispose off your family home due to exorbitant maintenance expenses. This not only calls for an in-depth personal understanding of all the financial aspects of your life, but you may require the services of some cost effective financial planner to manage your resources. Income tax, health benefits and insurance repercussions on your post divorce status may demand special attention. Luckily there is no dearth of NGOs and support groups who help women manage their finances after divorce and render professional advice for free. Social housing sector also gives preferential treatment to single mothers.

Social Existence

Though you are now a single person, still you will continue to have some needs and aspirations as a human. The need for socialization and companionship is one such primary consideration. In the changed scenario, friends and extended family members may end up taking sides. Do not worry. It is just going to be temporary. Most of the loved ones who have strayed away may come back. You can join the clubs and activity groups for single people. Just resist any urge to withdraw or isolate yourself

Remember that the people who survive are the one who want to. So aspire to be a survivor and you will make it.







James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you want to find out more about a solicitor managed divorce see http://www.managed-divorce.co.uk